I want to dedicate this entry to a very close friend of mine. I probably wouldn't and shouldn't mentioned his name BUT his behavior has raised not only my concerns but also slowly building a barrier between us! Even my hubby is in disbelief over his stories! I find it difficult to care and to say a word of comfort every time if he is to tell me a story about his current happenings. It seems to me that he has watched too much of TVB Chinese series.
I do not know how to react, should I care? Should I even continue to dwell in his stories and try to give him whatever words of comfort available? (words of comfort and prayers, I have given more than a thousand times) BUT i think I will pray differently now! Instead of focusing on his "stories" issues solution, I will go straight to the root cause of the problem! His identity issues! He seems to be of crisis in that!
What am I saying? Let me tell you a story.
Clock in the car showing 7.00am, Celine Dion's - Power of Love blasting through the stereo of the car. This young man, well Brandon (I am not using real name) in his late twenties is sitting in his usual traffic crawl to his office. He impatiently checks the clock every 5 minutes and cursing under his breathe "I have a stack of documents at work to be sent out, if only one day I am not stuck in this hideous jam" He glanced at the clock one more time and his mind drifted to the date that he is going to have tonight! Nancy, the girl he is currently after, everything seems pretty good between the two of them, unlike all the others she has responded well to his calls and invitation, maybe there is a chance - that makes him smile a little forgetting about the traffic madness outside his car's windows!
Whole day at work was busy but being the normal executive, he usually gets a lot of firing from the boss, its a tough industry - shipping, he tells his friends and to make it sound even better he is the manager there! This is the secret that he has been hiding and a lot more! He signs off his documents and punch his computer off at 5.30pm to get home and make it on time for his date. Switched on his mobile and update his Facebook status "Work is crazy, so many non-co-operative people! Tired of whole day on the phone! Have to do something to get ride of non productive people"
Split Personality 1 - He told his friends that he is the manager but from his maturity?!? He doesn't get pass senior executive?!??
The date went on fine BUT the downside is that, Nancy like all the other girls told him that there is not any potential development other than normal friends! He asked himself why! After dropping her off at her door with just a "I think we should just be normal friends until you get well" "Get well" he repeated! So what is wrong???
He update his Facebook status - "Gotta get well soon, gotta listen to doctor and be on time for my medicine"
Another Facebook update: @I'msogoodatdrinking, lets go for a beer I am sad!
Split personality 2 - He is sick! and he is telling all the girls he is! What would us girls think? You better get well before doing anything else! And if you are sick you wouldn't be drinking so much! Take note towards that!
He was almost late for work today! And his manager warns him to be early the next time. He try to make a coffee to kick off the hangover he is having from yesterday's drinking! "Aww man! This just doesn't feel so good! I am going to stop drinking!" he said for the 100th times! He checks his Facebook status respond and as usual his best friend and sister always respond! On his drinking status she said - "Drink again! Better stop that! What about your promise??!!" He always considered her closest to him! No matter what, she is there for him just that now she is married and have another life on her own! She no longer easily reachable! But that is fine, he always got Facebook! Since life is a bit of a downer better create something good out of it! He switched on "Facebook for Android" and writes
What is on my mind? "Going to concentrate on business with my business partner, sorry that I have slacked a little off late been caught up with this! Go! Go! Go! Continue to keep up the good work during my absence"
Split Personality 3 - He is a successful business man who has business all over Europe, New Zealand and God-knows-where! But still lives with his parents, drives a small car and go to work in a small office when he got press down by big ass bosses everyday!
Late that evening he switched on his Facebook again after a long day at work and updates "I am sorry guys, I have to do what I have to do! Now I feel guilty! I do not know what to do, I didn't mean to get you fire BUT work has to get done"
Split Personality 4 - He tells everyone he has got a few people fired and that happened all the time and he plunges into a total feeling of emptiness and that calls for alcoholic solution! (Sick??!?? I thought you were sick!!)
He wakes up the next morning and like any other usual day, he gets ready to work. Thinking about Nancy brings a heartbroken chill! She has not replied to any of his text ever since that day. "Maybe I will try again" he types "Hi" and hit sent! Try not to think about it he drives to work! He switched on his Facebook again and type (this time in Chinese so that big sis will not know) - "Winning this business deal makes me sad and guilty - why do you have to kill yourself after losing? because you throw in all your family money!
Split personality 5 - Now what? drama after drama! When asked by his friends what business you are doing he cannot even answer and now people committing suicide because of him??!? What is this man!
Status update later at night - "Dear all business partners, there will be a big business gathering at hotel so and so and please make yourself present for buffet lunch"
Split personality 6 - I thought you are sick, heartbroken and then guilty! Now you have appetite to have a hearty lunch just right after what you updated earlier in the morning - that someone committed suicide because of your business win??!?? Shouldn't there be a funeral to attend or message of condolence?!!?
Listening to his story, I couldn't actually gathered up any emotions at all and to be concerned, I am far from that! His actions and words contradict each other! So I do not know how except to go straight to prayer for his mind to be at peace with itself! I once read a quote which is very applicable :
"The soul has its ability to heal itself and set everything in order BUT the challenge is to silence the mind!"
And yeah! Did I tell you about his ex tragic death?! Well I am not going to go into it that maybe some other time not today! I simply believe that all this issue is because of the lack of self confidence and his continuous failure in getting a girl! To keep a friendship, we need to built them on honesty, truth and openness, even though sometimes we just need to bite the bullet and admit that we are not a success YET!
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