"Eww a pink dress, this is the last time you EVER see me in
this (pink) dress"
These are the words that I heard one of my young bridesmaid uttered to her mother. These words does not hurt me neither did they make me angry. Not at all! Matter of fact, the only thing that went through my mind was, "she will grow up, let her take her time, she is only 13" There are many things that a girl will have to go through. I have not achieve them all but I have passed them all pretty well. Much goes to a girl who got her first heel by the age of 13 (;
Here are some of the stages I believe that we girls will go through (at least for me). First stage, goes without saying would be the day we were born, pretty much this is easy, because everything that we have and everything that we do is determine by our parents.
The second stage of life will come when we hit adolescence, as we began to feel the changes in our body, shyness begins to kick in. We begin to have the need to search for the identity that is inside of us. We try to pick up the pieces and continue on with the fight. The best disguise to put on is "to be the tough one". Being tough is to hide from the world, while we search for who we really wanted to be. During this time, everything girlie will be look upon as weak! So hence, no pink as it represent a "bimbo", no high-heels as it only goes to show you are soft and easily bullied, no dress as it only shows no intelligence! This is the stage that my young bridesmaid in! I have been through it.
Third stage? I call it the battle of self esteem. As we continue to search for who we are and not finding them, we became frustrated, the changes in our body pulls us away from the childish innocence that we once hold on to, we began to hide even more! Avoiding pictures taking, avoiding going out as much and hide in a cocoon that we weave around ourselves! Trusting only our best friends and thinking that our parents who pushes us to go out explore the world as not understanding at all. We find solace in education? ambitions? sports? and so on. Some even turn to celebrities to see what they really are and model after them! Which I believe can be good or even bad, depending on how you take things..... Good thing? We learn to keep up to date on the various fashion and happenings in life, bad? We will never be like those size 2 skinny celebs who basically eat nothing and workout all day!
Fourth stage will be call "the awakening". Well the part where you discover that you have "feelings" for the opposite sex that makes you shy, insecure but on the other hand, dream of them and want to hold them close. At this time, we will push away bits and pieces of our insecure self to feel the wind hitting our soft wings. We dare not fly because we do not know how it feels like to... YET! We will start reading beauty magazine like Seventeen, Cleo religiously, in order to salvage and to garner knowledge to become attractive enough for the boy who makes our heart skip a beat! We began to realize, pink makes us sweet, high heel makes us tall and slim, dresses makes us beautiful. We struggle to resist but trust me the time will come when you know this is what we are, we are a lady now!
Fifth stage, I guess is the most dangerous stage, we felt the wind hitting our soft wings, we began to take our first flight! Our parents slowly became a very shadowy influence and we learn to trust our guts feelings and some even turn to friends. During this stage, we began to harvest what we learn in stage four and became bolder in mixing and matching feminine that makes us soft yet bold and independent. We no longer feel ashamed to admit who we are inside of us. But in this stage, as we became a lady, a lot of temptation will come our ways! We have to stand firm and not falter to the things that would spoil our image!
The sixth stage is call realization, you began to love your mother as you recognize that she somehow is far more ahead of you in the stages of a girl! She is wiser and indeed smarter! For me I am in this stage! I know my mom is the strongest woman I have met! She picked up the pieces left by my dad and continue to fight on! She solider like a man and brought me and my sis up! In this stage as you are a lady and know how to make decision in life, who you wanted to be, what you want to be, what your priorities in life are and of course who is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. During this time you will have a deeper understanding of yourself.
I do not know how to share the next stage of a girl with you YET! As I am still discovering it myself. So here we are stages that I believe that we will go through as a lady, that is why I am not angry when I heard what my young bridesmaid said. In fact I would love to help her along the way if she requires of me. But the only thing that I could say at this point is "Love yourself first by then others will learn how to love you! Remember everything else fade away! Even beauty but God will always be there for you irregardless!" Don't worry I believe we all get by! Most of us do! I did (;
